Self compassion and self Love

A cure for self sabotage 7 Dec 2023

What we think we know, is not completely accurate, is a journey into the future unknown.

What we think we know, is like driving forwards while steering based on what is in the rear view mirror.

What we think we know, is past based, and will guide our perceptions, but also, screens out everything that is 'outside the box' of what is known, of what is believed, as 'the only' reality.

As individuals, we tend to assume that we all live in the same world, and that we share the same reality.

This past year has shown me that we each are projecting our own unique cinema scape, based on our individual past experience, from, with, in, our own individual perspective, as unique as each babies birth chart, and circumstances in time and space.

As time goes forwards, this shared assumption is disintegrating, as we realise that we are not all the same.

As I get to know myself, I get to recognise how differently we each see the World out there.

This allows me to accept that how others see their World is what ever it is.

I cannot force any one else to change.

I can continue to evolve love, rather than fall into polarised shadow plays of control dramas and e-motional entanglements with people who dismiss Love.

Love is as a highly evolved form of communication.

Love is merely a word.

What it represents is the Whole World.

Continued this morning -

It's all too easy to bypass Love.

Self love and self compassion are needed in this world, to answer the inner critics, and the outer.

Some of the loveliest people I know are struggling these days, struggling to really care for themselves.

For some people it's easier to care about others, to give, to worry, to share, to reach out, to give time, money, things, and even literally the shirt off of my back.

These people can end up aching, tired, worn out, restless, anxious and depleted.

Taken for granted, depended upon, needed, expected, relied upon and drained.

We've all got little programs 'running in our head'. A few lines of code, running in the background, can become very dominant.

These programs are inbuilt and may be happen-chance, from childhood experiences, adult indoctrination, peers, learned behaviours, and also, reacting to the lack of care, inability to show care, inability to accept and receive love.

Something like 'you gotta give love to get love'

is quite similar to 'you gotta spend money to make money'.

Another phrase is that 'you got to receive love in order to give love'.

We've also got to be protected from preditors, especially when we are young and innocent and vulnerable.

These are ideas about energy exchange, between self and others, between inner and outer, between need and lack.

There's a common image of self-love as being a preening idolatry, of luxury and excess, of vanity mirrors, of devas, of staged performance and false humility.

In Truth, beneath these images is a faltering fragility, of an inner need to please, with cracks in the outer reflections.

Self-love, or the love of Self.

These are simply words, the meaning of which is dependant upon an inner relationship with self, and the comprehension of Love.

What is Love?

Perhaps, it's easier to see the lack of Love in the world.

People who are always giving, can often be unable to receive, self sacrificing, putting themselves last, putting everyone else in front of the queue.

It's a form of 'people pleasing'.

It's nice to be nice, but if being nice actually means being bullied and drained, then there's something that needs some deeper contemplations.

The fear of rejections, the fear of not being needed, the fear of abandonment- these fears can have roots grounded in the earliest memories, buried beneath the surface personality.

Self compassion is needed in order to give one self time to forgive, to recognise when one has over compensated others and under valued oneself.

It's not easy or obvious to recognise the neediness in needing to be the care-giver, the strong one, the 'adult in the room'.

It's kinda obvious that the reverse of the word 'live' is 'evil'.

It's a little less obvious that the world 'evolve' contains the reverse of love.

Play with words a little, to see how the programs work, to see how the subconscious codes of conduct, conduct electricity, sparking reactions, making connections, re-fusing con-fusions.

Self-love = self-Healing.

Is it 'selfish' to heal One's wounds?

Is it wise to ignore One's wounds, to cover over the festering scabs and sores, with the bandages of business and politeness?

If you naturally have compassion for everyone else, and make excuses for the people who hurt and abuse you, it's likely that you need to look into why, and at least question whether there's a tendency toward inherent self-sacrifice and self-harm.

Love

such an easy word to take for granted.

Anyway, that's my early morning thought for the day...

Art by Ocean Love Christina Turtle Dove Born-Free